Heat Wave

I can smell the heat. I feel everything around me unwillingly absorb it. My black Chennai T-shirt does the same, but more willingly so, I feel. It knows heat, though maybe a different kind of heat; heat laced with the salty smell of the sea and jasmine flowers and cut mango with spicy chilli powder. Heat laced with the smell of home.

Perfection

I think I'm perfection-phobic. It scares me for some reason. I'm worried about being bored to death by a perfect life, a predictable future, and a predictable present. On the other hand, I'm also scared of too much drama, too many worries, too many questions. Contradictory, yes; but very true.
If only there was a balance between perfection and imperfection. The right amount of complications, a beautiful mess perhaps. That would be... truly perfect. 

That Fine Line

She was treading on a fine line here, a thread-thin rope. It was so easy to fall back into the mess that was, and easier still to get back out. Sadly, the choice wasn't in her hands. Perhaps the answer was in the sureness of her feet; their ability to balance and take a sure stance away from the line. However, she knew how clumsy she was. She might be meaning to take a large leap away from the line, and out of this mess, only to fall back into it with great force, dwelling deeper than she had ever been. It was a dangerously fine line, laced with confusion and doubt and so much possibility. Most importantly, it was saturated with that little thing called hope.

Change is constant

A wise person once said "there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find ways in which you yourself have altered." As true as these words are, what happens when you experience something slightly different? What if, well, you have changed; but what if the place has, too? You come back to a place, expecting everything and everyone to have stayed the same, only to realize that things aren't as you left them. Everyone has moved on, and when you think about it, so have you.

The only thing left to do is to enjoy the little that you have left, before it too fades away with time.

Sometimes, I feel like I would take anything that you had to offer me. It seems like you have so much to offer to the world, but so little to offer to me. And I've been here with you for so long, while the rest of the world has just passed by, without giving you a second glance. It's odd, isn't it? I've been waiting so long to see just a speck of your soul. I've been an open book, while you've hidden every bit of yourself, ever so carefully. I'm not sure what you're waiting for, but I know it's not me.

Knowledge is Power

Or, is ignorance pure bliss? All of us want to selectively choose the information that we want to hear, and tune out the information that we're better off not knowing. Sadly, we're not blessed with this sort of choice. Sometimes, we never get to know things that we should rightfully know, things that we are better of knowing, knowledge that will make all the difference to our lives and for the better. Sometimes, we are cursed with the knowledge of things that we would have been happier never, ever knowing in our lifetime.
Choices. We have so few of them. The world is just thrust towards us whether we like it or not. And what are we left with? The power of not knowing which pieces of information we will end up with, and which pieces of information will get lost in the winds of time.
Maybe that's our choice. The choice of mystery, of adventure, of spontaneity. 

Purpose

I think I've been going through an aimless phase for quite a while now. December was supposed to help me figure everything out, but it's already half up and I'm no where closer to where I want to (or rather, need to) be. I've got my lists, I've got some ideas, I've got this horribly vague picture of where I'm heading. But it's so blurry that it might as well not exist. I worry myself; i'm worried for myself. I don't want to waste away, and I don't want things to end with me being as lost and confused as I feel at the moment. This can't be the way things are meant to be. There must be some point when everything is crystal clear, right? And truthfully, I'm not even asking for crystal clarity. Anywhere even halfway close will do for me.