And the future is a not-so-distant haze

Every second person I meet seems to gain some sort of sadistic pleasure by simply popping THE question at me- 'so, what do you want to do after 12th?' And I, being the unbelievably confused idiot I am, choose to do nothing more than just sit there, staring and blinking, as though someone has just asked me to name all the presidents in reverse order. Sheesh.

Yes, FYI alert, that is the most commonly asked question in my life. Fascinating, really. I feel like a princess/superstar. Or both. People are paying so much attention to me. All that's missing now is a tiara saying 'Help!' God.

And as if that one question is just not enough to send me into this whirlwind of confusion, this is quickly followed by, 'and which colleges are you planning to consider?' Enough to make me want to scream and say that I'd be honoured if any college considers me. No, the other way around simply does not work here.

Honestly, I've dreamt of being a writer ever since I was six years old. Most people say that as children, they wanted to be different things every day, but for me, this is the one thing that i was always sure of wanting. As I grew older and my horizons expanded, it moved on to 'a journalist who writes novels'. Even when everyone convinced me to do a professional course like engineering at the UG level, I was sure that after I got through with that it would be a straight road to journalism. It even sounded really nice, doing something totally professional and then writing for the rest of my life. I mean, what more could I want really?

I still want all of this, I'm sure it's the path I want to choose. But there's always this tiny thorn of doubt hiding somewhere, stopping me from saying this to anyone because of the secretive, startling unsurity of it all. Perhaps it's because I greatly doubt the credibility of my writing skills. Or perhaps I feel that people will think this sort of path is plain.. mental.

Talk about confusion.

Ten things you are expected to do on reaching 12th grade

1) Gain a brain capacity the size of Jupiter.

2) Magically regain all of the previous years' knowledge, in spite of just scraping through eleventh grade.

3) Make detailed colour-coded timetables with a study plan of 25 hours a day.

4) Complete all your assignments and keep your notebooks up to date.(How?)

5) Draw margins for every notebook and suddenly make your handwriting super neat.(I don't own a ruler...)

6) Not have fun. (But...)

7) Give your phone back to your parents. (*piercing death-like scream*)

8) Set (good) examples for your juniors. (Pah.)

9) Gain impeccable organisations skills and make sure time management is second nature to you.

10) STUDY. (Oh no.)