Every second person I meet seems to gain some sort of sadistic pleasure by simply popping THE question at me- 'so, what do you want to do after 12th?' And I, being the unbelievably confused idiot I am, choose to do nothing more than just sit there, staring and blinking, as though someone has just asked me to name all the presidents in reverse order. Sheesh.
Yes, FYI alert, that is the most commonly asked question in my life. Fascinating, really. I feel like a princess/superstar. Or both. People are paying so much attention to me. All that's missing now is a tiara saying 'Help!' God.
And as if that one question is just not enough to send me into this whirlwind of confusion, this is quickly followed by, 'and which colleges are you planning to consider?' Enough to make me want to scream and say that I'd be honoured if any college considers me. No, the other way around simply does not work here.
Honestly, I've dreamt of being a writer ever since I was six years old. Most people say that as children, they wanted to be different things every day, but for me, this is the one thing that i was always sure of wanting. As I grew older and my horizons expanded, it moved on to 'a journalist who writes novels'. Even when everyone convinced me to do a professional course like engineering at the UG level, I was sure that after I got through with that it would be a straight road to journalism. It even sounded really nice, doing something totally professional and then writing for the rest of my life. I mean, what more could I want really?
I still want all of this, I'm sure it's the path I want to choose. But there's always this tiny thorn of doubt hiding somewhere, stopping me from saying this to anyone because of the secretive, startling unsurity of it all. Perhaps it's because I greatly doubt the credibility of my writing skills. Or perhaps I feel that people will think this sort of path is plain.. mental.
Talk about confusion.
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5 comments:
heheh...dun worry baccha, u still have someone in the same boat :D
and u just bloody go become a writer!(seriously)
"NOBODY CAN STOP YOU!" :D
Welcome to my world.
:-(
I honestly havent got the faintest clue what about what i'm going to do. I'd love to write, and I really wanted to right upto 10th grade where everyone tried convincing me I was some brilliant person(which i am not, as my grades will show) and had to do engineering, half way through last year I figured I wnated no part of it and quit IIT. I'd love to be a journalist, lord knows if my writing skills are good enough. sigh.... I feel like i'm repeating your post all over again... where do you stand on it now ?
In my lovely ideal world(that i wished i lived in), i'd be off to singapore at NUS for their rather lovely English and Communications program, either on a scholarship(which im not even sure is possible, they offer them to my school, but i think their only for engg programs... *sigh*) or having won the lattery.
Rather sad eh ?
:(
thanks tushar.. :D
and sushruthi, that ideal world you described over there is VERY similar to mine. i mean, yeah, even when i quit IIT last year i thought i was through with engineering. but something, i dont know what, is still pushing me towards it. and i still have no confidence about my writing skills and no courage to forget about engineering. god help me.
so, that's your ideal world. but what are you planning on following?
first off,thanks for the comment on my blog...it's good feedback that keeps me going... :) ...and yeah,i'm kinda in the same boat as well...i'm passively being forced into engineering,or atleast something's that's concrete,but what i really want to do is get out and do some writing-both articles,and poetry.i want to travel the world,get inspired,and do that sort of stuff...cause that's where i'll find true happiness...
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