Two halves

The concept of soul mates intrigues me. I remember reading a Paulo Coelho book in which the author defines the idea of soul mates very clearly, stating that souls are split into two after reincarnation; over time, these two halves split further, and so on, until pieces of our soul are scattered all around the world. Thus, it is possible for us to have more than one soul mate.

I find this explanation very fascinating. I know it's horribly idealistic and practically unbelievable, but it's such a wonderful possibility. Though, honestly, I'm not sure if I even believe in the concept of a soul mate. Yes, there might be someone that you get along with extremely well, but that doesn't mean they're your soul mate, does it? There's no one who's perfect for you in every way. Even if there is someone who comes close, you may not fall in love with them. In fact, it's highly likely that you will fall in love with someone who is perfect for you in no way, at all.

But that's love, I guess. It makes no sense.

A Powerful Mind

How powerful is the subconscious mind? Is it possible to change things by will? It seems unnatural, even impossible, but I think I've experienced it, I think I know people who have. It's not one hundred percent foolproof, just like anything else in this world, but it's possible.
However, at the moment, I think my subconscious mind is non-existent. Or maybe it's buried in deep in the chaotic mess that is my mind. Everything seems to be very out of my hands. 

Our past is our present

I find it odd that some of the most brilliant minds in history displayed strong streaks of misogyny. Socrates, Freud, Kant. If a large part of philosophy was based on the notion that women are weak, need to be controlled and are incapable of learning, it's no wonder that it took three waves of feminism and so many other women's rights movements to get to where we are today. 

A Perfect Match

These visits to the seaside were becoming frequent events for her. There was something about the ocean that was strangely comforting. And off-late, it seemed to match her mood quite often. Sometimes, it was blissfully calm, and at other times it seemed to be floating in the moment, lingering leisurely, not afraid of all the time that was ticking on. Sometimes, it would lash against the shore, so horribly confused; the waves seemed to be screaming "should I come, or should I go?" Indecisive. Just like her.

Inspiration, or lack thereof

I think I’m horribly uninspired. Maybe it’s because I’ve stopped thinking. Does this even make me human anymore? More importantly, does this even make me, ME anymore?

I am re-reading Sophie’s world. I’m hoping that it will give me some answers. Or maybe I should stop waiting for answers to come to me. However, I don’t want to stop asking questions. I have, for the past year or so, and I don’t like this at all. Life’s been easier this way, undoubtedly, but what’s fun about easy right? Haha, I just realized how weird that sounds. Oh well.

The point is, this year really has been… uncomplicated, by my standards (SO FAR). It hasn’t been an easy year, no, but I’ve refused to let it get complicated because that’s not a path I want to go down again. But I think I eventually realized that being complicated is an inherent part of me. I mean, I’m not all for being one of those deep, brooding (wannabe intellectual?) writers, but maybe, just maybe, that’s what I am? Come to think of it, I don’t know what I am anymore. Perhaps I never did.

I am me. Let’s leave it at that for now.

The End is not near, it's Here

When I think of the end of the world, I honestly don’t freak out; not a bit. I don’t panic, I don’t worry, I don’t start with a spout of palpitations, nor do I experience an adrenaline rush. No horror nor excitement, no wonder regarding how or why it could happen. Nothing.

Selfish, maybe?

Not really.

The truth is, when the world ends, it is not as if the only people who will be gone are you, your parrot and your great-uncle Martin. It is not going to be just the annoying neighbor who loves Bon Jovi a little too much, or his dog who loves your cat’s tail inappropriately much. It is going to be all of us; every single one of us.

Which is perhaps why not feeling bad about this isn’t the most selfish thing to do. In reality, it doesn’t matter, because we’ll all be long gone, and there’s nothing we can do about it. This is not something that is our fault like global warming or the melting of ice caps; if Armageddon or 2012 are as real as people say, this “ending” is going to happen no matter what. The sad but real truth is there, right in front of us, mocking us, every second of every minute of every day.

Of course, being this neutral about it is probably exponentially stupid. After all, there is SO much I want to experience before being wiped off the face of the earth. With barely a couple of years left to achieve all of this, I really should be doing some major panicking; I should be putting together a disparate list of things to do before it’s too late. A part of me wants to do all those things; scuba diving, bungee jumping, writing a book, touching lives, falling in love, not tripping over flat ground, and so much more. However, these are not things that you just do off a list. Yes, you have to make them happen, but no, you cannot just set a deadline, like 21st December 2012.

Live in the moment; take every day as it comes. Don’t become a train wreck of worry, thinking about all the things you need to do before you’re wiped off. More importantly, don’t become too complacent with the assumption that you have your whole life in front of you to watch your favorite band play live, or to learn a sport you love, or to buy a golden retriever that you want to name Heinz for no apparent reason. Just go for it, embrace it. Embrace life.

20.

Older, but definitely not wiser. Or, maybe just a little bit. Nineteen things that I have learned this past year; may I never make these mistakes again. =D

1. Honesty doesn’t always work. It has the ability to create its own little mess.
2. Never assume that hairdressers know exactly what they are doing. Most of the time, they don’t, and the end result could be a thick carpet of your once-long hair.
3. Your entire belief system can come crashing down in exactly 3.5 seconds and one word.
4. Never walk into a bathroom when you’re sleep deprived. It might just be the wrong one. More importantly, don’t spend over 5 minutes staring blankly at your reflection. MOST importantly, when a boy walks in, run.
5. Secrets are never secrets. Tread carefully.
6. Your favourite green footwear can, and eventually will, get shredded into a million pieces.
7. Chocolate chip cookies can make you fat.er. Especially if you have one 12-piece packet a day, and selfishly offer your room-mate just one of these twelve.
8. University is not the breeze through you think it would be. Soon, you will realize how very disillusioned you were. You will also wish that you had stayed under this illusion for longer, possibly forever.
9. Curry flavoured noodles contain fish. They are not vegetarian. They never will be vegetarian.
10. One twenty minute episode of HIMYM/BBT/FRIENDS can lead to twenty more, closely following the first one.
11. Change really is the only thing that is constant.
12. You cannot survive on four hours of sleep. No matter what, you will end up either crashing and sleeping for 30 hours straight, or crashing and dying.
13. Take all the good advice you can get, but at the end of the day, make your own choices. No one is responsible for your life but you.
14. Cheap flip-flops + heavy rain = combination for a (falling) disaster.
15. Exams can, and will drive you crazy. Like, over the top insane. Mental hospital material. You get the drift.
16. Never say things when you’re mad. You’ll only say it all wrong, you’ll only make it all worse.
17. The library has the ability to literally freeze you. I could have sworn that my feet once turned into two large chunks of ice.
18. Be open to everything. Be open to the very concept of being open. You won’t get anywhere without this basic ideology.
19. Most importantly, be yourself. Stay true. There’s no other way to live.